I've never been big on New Year's resolutions. I always let myself down within the first week, so why bother? Plus, it's just another day. I could choose to do something differently starting on February 17, but I probably won't do that either. Because I've been basically the exact same person since I was four. I may have changed my hair style or my attitude about boys in bands a few times, but overall, who I am today is likely who I'll be when things start shifting southward--an over-analyzer whose internal monologue goes on unstoppable diatribes about completely embarrassing topics that I rarely share with anyone. This is the tip of the iceberg, people. I drive myself nuts, and the result is a bizarre sense of humor and sometimes a boatload of tears. In short, I'm a fucking nightmare.
That being said, you guys can expect pretty much the same out of me this year as last. However, here are a few things that happened in 2009, which i hope will not/never happen again:
1) I flew off my bike and busted my head open. Since I was wearing a very cute hat, I thought, "okay, so it's kind of a lot of blood but I will not let it ruin my night. Please just find my hat and bring me a cocktail. It will be fine." (Alright fine, a resolution: wear helmet)
2) I got laid off. It sucked. Despite a rational belief that it was in fact the fault of the economy and not my work performance, it felt personal and my ego took a major beating. One day I'm sure I'll admit it was for the best, but sometimes I still feel a little bruised. I should really get over it. (resolution: get over getting made redundant)
3) I had a health scare. I'm totally fine now, nothing to worry about, but suffice to say, it's incredibly alarming to realize that you don't have complete control over this vessel you toddle around in. Nonetheless, I could take better care of it. (resolution: be more mindful of my body, i.e. begin very sensible Taco Bell diet)
4) I missed my parents more than I ever thought possible. I live really far away from almost everyone I love. Last year, it seemed more severe than ever. I saw my dad ONCE in a whole calendar year. My mom and sisters, twice. That's absurd. And it made me sad. I can do better than that. (long-term resolution: return to the east coast)
You know what though, lots of good stuff happened last year too. But who wants to be subjected to someone else's laundry list of accomplishments and happiness? No one. It's annoying. (see Facebook post) So i'll end with this. I hope that 2010 will involve less mangled body parts and more hugs. Happy New Year.
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