masculine sensibilities

Photo: Terry Richardson

Since moving into our new place, we've been getting the previous tenants' magazines. One would think they'd have them forwarded, but apparently not. So now we're the rather reluctant recipients of Fitness, Esquire and Details. I guess we're technically the target audience, but M's an English designer who couldn't care less about Q+A's with Matt Damon or "finding the perfect suit." As for me, I find myself consistently resentful of Fitness magazine's urgings that I seek out legumes I've never heard of and consume no more than one cocktail in an evening. No thanks. Neither of us was impressed by the sudden influx of reading material.

But as he turned his nose up at Details, I thought, "wait a minute, maybe if we trade publications here, we'll each find something we like." He can check out the toned ladies of Pilates and I can peer into the male psyche. Because he's wonderful, he wasn't interested in Fitness. Or maybe he thought it was a test. Either way, as I settled into Details, I immediately realized there was something missing from so many women's magazines--anything remotely funny.

Let's compare for a second the headlines from Details, to those from Fitness. Details: "63 Signs That You're a Giant Tool," "The Hip-Hop Star and His $30 Million Coke Binge," "Why It's Okay To Stare at Fat People." And Fitness: "Flatten Your Belly Fast," "Walk Off Every Bulge," "Snack the Smart Way." First of all, I just fell asleep compiling the second list. While one says to me, "Hey bud, the world is pretty ridiculous, here's some fodder for a laugh," the other says, "Hi. Yes you, with the un-slim thighs, let us show you the way to an eating disorder and an elliptical trainer."

One could argue that I'm simply comparing two unrelated representations of men's and women's magazines, but even when I took a look at my beloved Elle and Vogue, there's a similar disparity. Women's magazines tend to insinuate that the reader could do with a makeover and a fashion budget in the six-figures (that's not funny, it's depressing), while men's magazines are rife with far more varied, and often amusing, content that doesn't seem to suggest that the reader should change anything about himself--other than maybe upgrading his suit. 

I looked harder, perusing not only fashion magazines but more gender-neutral publications as well. The more reputable monthlies showcase literature, music and culture alongside fashion and lifestyle features, but in women's magazines there's simply none of the tongue-in-cheek writing that seems so ubiquitous in those intended primarily for men or a mixed audience. Why is that? Are women not as funny as men? Is it thought that we'll be offended more easily? Or that we won't "get it" or appreciate it? Or that we all really just want to know how to make our bottoms smaller? Please tell me that's not the case.  

Of course I'm not saying that I plan to trade in all of my subscriptions to fashion magazines for more masculine fare, I just wish there was more pizazz. We can handle it.