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| Photograph by Christoffer Rudquist |
I have a history of falling hard for brainy men completely out of my reach. My very first crush in life was Dan Rather. I couldn't get enough of him. I would literally cry when the news was over. I was three. Anyway, I think it's safe to blame nana for this one. Nan was a fiercely intelligent old gal who made it her business to ensure that i knew how to spell aurora borealis before pre-school. She really knew how to make a girl popular.
She first introduced me to the "intellectual crush" when she expressed a (questionable, I think) fervor for Tim Russert. She unapologetically declared that she was "in love with his mind." If I learned anything in my young life, it was that you didn't question nana. This man was someone worthy of her attention. I took heed. He wasn't much on the eyes, but he was mesmerizing in debate. I kinda saw what she meant.
Fast forward to my post-college years. My own crush looms large. Dan Rather has since passed--bless him. Alain de Botton is the new man of my dreams. It started when I read his novel, On Love. In short, it's a chronicle of De Botton's first serious relationship and how it so dramatically, but unexceptionally, unraveled. It sounds trite. It's the exact opposite. Rife with philosophical underpinnings, historical references and comical illustrations, On Love made me wonder if perhaps I was in love with its author. Since then, I've systematically worked my way through his entire library of work, watched his TEDtalk an alarming number of times, and when he started following me on Twitter, (surely only because I referenced one of his books in a tweet) I thought maybe it was the start of something.
Then, while contracting with a design firm who collaborated on this year's TEDGlobal event, his personal email address landed in my inbox. What was I to do? Do I write to him and tell him how much I admire his work? Confess my love? Ask for career advice? I emailed my boyfriend to ask him if he would be upset if I threw myself at Alain de Botton via email. His response was, "Yeah go for it, but don't be lame." Well, that was that. I knew there was absolutely no way to do it without being lame. He got me.
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So after got thru half of "on love" I had the feeling that you mustve dedicated a few posts for him here :) First of all, WOW at your crush on Mr.Dan Rather when you were three! And yeah, I can totally relate to you for having a history of falling hard to brainy men :) my "intellectual crushes" were those wise men in the past (Plato, Spinoza, Leonardo da Vinci, Buddha, Gandhi, etc.) but it's probably more like my obsession over their thinking and beliefs. I'm aspired to become an enlightened mastermind like them :)
ReplyDeleteBack to mr. de Botton, I experienced a full-range of emotional spectrum when I read "on love" this evening.
Some parts just made me want to fall in love with someone (only if that someone would pay so much attention to love everything that I am like how Mr. de Botton did to Chloe). I couldn't stop smiling. Overwhelming mushy-ness :)
Some parts made me thinking back about people in my life who love me unconditionally (yes, my parents) yet I always feel that they've sometimes demand things from me that I can't give, wanting me to change and become someone else that they "idealize" of me. I was in tears just thinking about how I overlooked the fact that they wanted me to be a perfect replication of their imagination because of love, not just for the sake of finding faults in me.
And there are also those parts that got me reexamining my perception of others—the whole "What they are" vs. "what I see in them."
oh god, I'm just going to go on forever here and writing down every single thought that has been circling in my head since I put the book down (to be continued tomorrow) and that wont be fun for you to read because I know for the fact that you are an expert of his thoughts and ideas, I would probably just not saying anything new to you as I express my appreciation for his work :P
Thanks again for a great reading suggestion! woooh! :)
bo
p.s. I'm going to continue upwards on your blog entries. Skimmed through and woah...I have been thinking to myself along lots of topics you wrote here (i.e. besides topics on "happiness", the "masculine sensibilities" is among the things I've been discussing and trying to make logical arguments with myself)..well, it would probably crazy to comment on every single one, but I'll reply to ones that I felt like I have something interesting to add to the discussion :p